April 23, 2014

• Encouragement

  You know the saying that a picture is worth a thousand words? Well I don’t have a picture I can post, but I do have a picture in my mind. I will describe it to you and hope it is less than 1000 words, because the picture is the jumping off point for what I really want to say.

  Last week we took our German exchange student to the airport to return home. It was a 17 day visit, but those 17 days were packed with fun and love and laughter. Walking from the car to the terminal my two daughters and our German daughter were quiet and sad. I noticed that the German girl reached out and held the hand of my oldest daughter and then invited my youngest daughter to hold her other hand. The three of them held hands as they walked to the airport doors, marking the end of a fantastic trip. Then a bit later, as we met the entire German student group, our own German daughter and a German boy (who was good friends with my girls) flanked my oldest daughter and all three of them held hands to walk to the security gates where we had to say goodbye and leave. Again it was quiet and a bit solemn. I want you to picture those two similar scenes and let me briefly talk about what that meant to me as a mom.

  First in the parking garage, my two girls were offering support and encouragement simply by walking alongside and holding hands with our German girl. It was as if they were saying with their actions that they loved her and they were going to help her face something really difficult. They were guiding her by gently holding her hand and leading her to the doors. They spoke in actions that gave courage and strength and value. Yes value. They were saying (without even using words) that her time with us in our family was one of great value. Then when the two exchange students reached out to my oldest and walked to the security lines together, they were once again speaking volumes without using words. They were offering comfort to her. They were acting and behaving like their time together mattered and that SHE mattered to them. They were giving her strength to say goodbye and letting her know that she could let them leave. Their combined strength and courage was shared with out a word. A simple gesture of holding hands in a difficult emotional time.

  Now to the whole idea of encouragement. I’ve been told many times that this is something I excel at doing. Maybe it is true. Maybe it is just because I practice it often. Encouragement is to offer courage. To validate someone or something. To show the real value when it would be easier to just ignore or take for granted. Encouragement is something that all of us are capable of handing out and all of us are in need of receiving. Look around you, look in the mirror. Can you see the need for encouragement? I have found that the more I encourage others, the more I feel encouraged myself. That is a pretty amazing phenomenon.

  A brief tutorial for those of you that may think this is a foreign concept. Encouragement needs to be honest, sincere and from the heart. It doesn’t have to be elaborate (although it can be if you choose). Encouragement sometimes speaks to the potential instead of to the present. To be a person of encouragement, you first need to open your eyes. Be aware and notice people and things around you. Notice when someone serves you (at the grocery store or the coffee shop) and just be aware of what they are doing. Then, take a breath and SAY what you noticed. “You have a cheerful smile today.” “Thanks for getting my order done for me.” “Have a _________ day” Pick a word besides “nice” since most of us just automatically say and ignore that sentence. Flex your vocabulary a little. Stupendous, excellent, extraordinary, wonderful, etc are some suggestions. It may be easier to begin to encourage those outside of your home, but please don’t stop there. The people you know and love the most are also the ones that will soak up your encouragement so much faster. Like a withered flower, a little encouragement will bring life and make them bloom! What a lovely thing to start this Spring. Make your family bloom. Again, be sincere and specific. Don’t just say “Nice job at school, honey” say “I like the effort you put into doing that report on the Civil War. We are so proud of all you have learned.” Say “Thank you for organizing and paying the bills each month. It takes a load off of my mind.” instead of saying “Thanks for working on stuff.”

  Sometimes, you just need to reach out and hold someone’s hand and be there for them without saying a word. That is just as powerful and just as meaningful. You can do this!!! Go out there and encourage people. I believe we can all change the world, one kind word or action at a time.

  • 12:10 pm
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